Holiday Happiness

“Put a little holiday in your heart” – LeAnn Rhimes

They are here. Tucked behind colorful Halloween and Happy Harvest displays in every store you will find the reds, greens, golds (and this year, refreshingly, jewel tones) of Christmas. And Hannukah. And Thanksgiving (but these are very small, you might miss them). Yes – the holidays are approaching.

For many of us the holiday season can be an emotional roller coaster. For people with chronic pain or bladder issues, or both, the highs and lows of that roller coaster can be extreme. I have a few tips that may help some of you. I would also encourage anyone reading this, if you have more suggestions, please post them as comments.

First, let me say – I love this time of year. From that first drop in temperature, sometimes into the ‘70’s, I start getting excited. I spend the next 4 months anticipating the brilliant falling leaves, biting cold, snow and ice, and all of the things I loved about autumn and winter that I remember about childhood. Hot chocolate by the fire, snow-ball fights with my brother. . . . . Reality check – I live in Florida, none of this happens. But I expect it, any moment. So, I decorate. Like a mad women. I also bake, sometimes compulsively. I really detest shopping, and I am lucky enough to be part of a family that loves phone calls and hand-made gifts more than “presents.” But, I digress:

The holidays are full of many things, but whether happy or hard, they are full. The extra activity, special holiday foods, parties and socializing, adds an enormous amount of stress to lives that are already full. So what can you do?

Number one: Breathe! And take breathers.

Decorating: Do you have to? If you must, do it in segments. It doesn’t have to happen all in a day or in a weekend. Remember if you put it up, it has to come down. So try to stream line into the most important things. If you can afford it, many lawn-care companies are offering set-up and take down services for outdoor lights and decorations, this may be worth checking into. Transitions from Halloween to Christmas can be nerve-wracking, especially if you are like me, and feel like everything has to come down as soon as the holiday is over. Try to keep it simple, and enlist family members to help.

Shopping: There is plenty of time to do holiday shopping, and starting early will make the whole operation more relaxed. Try on-line shopping, and if you really must touch it and feel it before you buy it, many of the large retail stores have “ship to local store” options. You don’t have to walk up and down the aisles, you often don’t have to pay shipping, and you get the best deal available. On-line shopping is also great for obligatory gift giving; clicking through pages of merchandise hoping to see “the thing” for Aunt Betsy, is way easier than wandering up and down the aisle of a store trying to find something that matches her ceramic poodle collection.

If you are one of those people that have to be in the stores at 5:00am on the Friday after Thanksgiving for competitive shopping; try to play it low key. Consider that your “fun” shopping day, try to have as much as possible done before, or plan on coming back after. Stay relaxed, find places to sit, watch people, let every one else be frenzied, you can sit down and watch the show. Face it, as energizing as grabbing that bargain can be, long lines and exhaustion have a way of dampening the fun. If you really don’t feel up to it, meet your girlfriends for breakfast or an early lunch, and live vicariously through them.

Know where the bathrooms are, and if there are lines, try to plan ahead. Having a friend team shop with you is a great idea, so you are not leaving a prized item in the path of the marauding hoards while you are in the bathroom. If you are taking a break, offer to hold the stuff - leaving your friends hands free to grab an extra one of those things you both really wanted.

One last comment on shopping: I am suddenly a big fan of gift cards. They can be combined, so people can get things they really want, even if no one person is able to afford to give it to them, they are the most appreciated gift under the tree with teens and tweens, and, they are tiny! You can do all of your shopping at the store front, never having to navigate any of the aisles. We live in a tiny little bungalow, all of our neighbors understand the need to avoid clutter, and I’m finally getting people to understand that I REALLY would rather have a phone call than more STUFF.

Food and Parties: For those of you on special diets, especially low acid, or low oxalate diets, holiday eating can be like walking blindfolded in a land mine. For me this is choice time. It is much easier to be uncomfortable for several days if I knew what I was getting into when I did it. If you don’t have your diet straightened out, and you don’t know what triggers your flares, be very careful. Eat before you go, it is harder to make good food choices on an empty stomach. Try Prelief or some other anti-heartburn medication prior to the event. It lowers the acidity of food and helps some people immensely. If you know you love chocolate, but you know it is going to cause a flare-up of symptoms – weigh the pros and cons. Is a chocolate chip cookie worth the pain and aggravation? Maybe. Is a handmade truffle of rich creamy dark granache from your best-friends sister’s mother in-law’s secret recipe worth it? Most likely. But make the choice, and make it consciously. Try not to eat things because it is in front of you.

Bring your own water to parties, it is amazing to me how often people only have unfiltered tap water available. If you are susceptible to sugar substitutes, be very careful with any sweet that you are unfamiliar with. They are putting sucralose in many processed snacks, even those that have sugar as a main ingredient. If you are eating out, ask about MSG in foods, and if you are eating at a salad bar, ask about vegetable washes. Even when you are trying to eat healthy, some of us have to be very careful about the additives on our food. Most places will have additive free menu items. Remember, if you have pelvic pain, avoid constipation and diarrhea, both of these will irritate the region, potentially causing a flare.

After the Party: First – during the party pay attention to how you are feeling. If you get stressed, start having pain, or realize that you have spent the entire evening in the line for the bathroom, it may be time to kiss the host and call it a night. At least you made an appearance, and some times that is all that is needed to fulfill a social obligation. When you get home, have the ice-packs or heating pad ready. Even if you think you are “OK” lay down with one (or two, or three) for a while. Put your feet up and breathe, quietly and calmly for a few minutes and try to relax. Give yourself a pat on the back for successful party negotiating!

Incontinence and socializing: Some of my patients suffer urinary incontinence, and even for those that have only occasional problems, Holiday diets and holiday schedules can predispose you to accidents – so if you think there may be problems:

• Wear dark clothes, leaks are less obvious.
• Skirts tend to be easier to “air out” than pants.
• Long shirts or sweaters that fall over your pants or a slim skirt are another good option.
  
• If you leak badly enough to need a change of clothes – dresses are not a good option.
• Bring an extra change of pants/skirt and underwear. The holidays are a perfect time for carrying around large bags of things you might need. An extra change of clothes discreetly left in the coat room in the bag that you brought the hostess gift or side dish in will never be discovered. And it is nice insurance
• If you typically use a pad, where a size bigger, and bring extras
• Even if you don’t wear protection, if there is a potential that you may eat acidic foods and laugh a lot (it’s a party, it’s supposed to be fun) you might want to consider a panti-liner.